When an Audit Feels Like The Godfather

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An auditor's story of charm, cigars, and unwavering integrity.

🇯🇵 Gifts by courtesy — not by compliance

In cultures like Japan, professionals offer polite, inexpensive gifts—like our 50-cent porcelain Dutch clogs—as a token of respect. We embrace that. What we absolutely don't tolerate are extravagant bribes meant to sway our findings.

A "family-run" supplier's big moment

At a family-owned pharmaceutical supplier, the host (the owner's daughter) kept hinting: "Papa" wanted to meet us. We stayed calm and professional—until the moment arrived.

Led to a plush corner office, I found myself face-to-face with the owner—cigar in hand, commanding presence, breathtaking view. He spoke of strategic partnership, pharmaceutical market growth, and simply… glowing audit reports. "Just say it's great," he said.

The setting? Something out of The Godfather. I half-expected him to ask for a favor in return. Thankfully, we aren't in the business of favor-trading—nor do we own any horses.

🧀 Cheese, wine… and the unspoken offer

At the end, Papa presented cheese and a huge box of wine. Customs laws at the airport (a godsend!) allowed us to politely refuse.

We left with our professionalism intact—and probably his disappointed look.

✅ Auditors don't accept favors

We finished the audit, respectfully declined their hospitality, and never heard from them again. Why? Because our job isn't about smooth relationships—it's about truthful, ethical outcomes. Period.